What activity would you like a lesson from an expert?

This is easy enough – if you’ve ever seen me in a kitchen (or never seen me in a kitchen)…you would know what I would want – cooking lessons from an expert to ensure I don’t poison the poor fellow in the receiving end.

I am the type of person who burns boiling water - utterly hopeless. The thought of cooking makes my palms sweaty and my heart race. I find it such a mundane task that society dictates as the job of the women. Well, if you know me, I’m never in the kitchen and I’m as maternal as a doorknob.

However, that being said – I would like to know how to cook without going into a complete panic. I’d like to do all the fancy dishes shown on the cooking channel – and do it with the easy that those chiefs do it. And the saying, “the way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach” doesn’t help!

I have been terrorized by my grand mother to be more feminine and submissive. Not to mention with the task to be the home starter when in actual fact Gran – all I need to do is find a man who likes to cook…

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I feel that I have been moulded by society to be a corporate junkie, acting all professional and responsible every moment of the day – even when I leave the office. When in actual fact, I would like to be a kid again and be carefree.

I wouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills, check when my car needs to be serviced, ensuring I have medical aid, take out funeral policies, life policies, car insurance, saving for a rainy day and I wouldn’t need to feel guilty about procrastinating doing something important.

I would like to be 4 years old again, where the foolish things I do or say are seen as amusing rather than stupid and life was one big adventure. Where it’s not expected from me to map out my whole future in a five year plan and know where it was that I’m heading in life. Where I can wash the stink of adulthood responsibilities off and rather play with tea sets, in the park or with my Barbie dolls. Where no one asks you for your highest qualification, your strengths and weaknesses but is impressed that you can count to ten and you know your ABC.

Life would consist of playing in the sand and having the small pleasures in life, like blowing bubbles, be the best thing since sliced bread. To go back to a time where it was ok to have grass stains on the knees of my pants. Where you are able to go anywhere and do anything and the only thing you had to do was have an imagination. Not forgetting, the magical experience of holidays such as Easter and Christmas time.

At 4 you live in the disillusion that your dad is the only man you need in life, that he will never disappoint you and that he will live forever. You are sheltered from the violence, crime, poverty, hurt and pain of the world. You live in a fairy tale that your happy little family is going to live happily ever after.

I would love to go back to a time where I could eat cookies and cream or cupcakes without counting the calories. Without me obsessing the I need to lose weight…be thinner…taller…prettier…smarter…dress fashionable/ sexy/ corporate/ casual/ Christian-like – all because society expects it from me.

All that would be required from me is to play, be merry and explore my surroundings. To be young again…would be a blessing…to live in a bubble protected from life as we know it.