The last lecture

Who knew this day would come so soon. I can’t tell whether the days, weeks and months flew by so quickly because we were having fun or because we were ridiculously busy trying to meet our numerous deadlines. It seems as though our “Get-Out-Of-Jail-Card” has finally arrived.

Never the less, this day is a bitter sweet one…I am glad to have my weekends and week nights to myself again yet will miss the numerous media debates, blogs, frantic and sometimes annoying tweets of my peers. Yet it has been a blast…learning! I have learnt to use new online (social) media which I would have otherwise avoided like the plague.

I have discovered that I like blogging, that I can learn on Twitter by having the first Twitter lecture, the Cluetrain Manifesto is true in soooo many ways, that Adobe InDesign is not such a scary application and most of all that I will miss The Pike Machine – her humour, the blog topics, her Twitter flaming, her determination to see us pass/succeed and her innovative ways to teach us! I have had a blast in Media…partly because of the subject but also because of the lecturer!

I’ve been CONNED …and it could happen to you too!

Like many people this time of year, I was scouting for getaways to relax. My boyfriend found an amazing holiday home in Pringle Bay advertised on Gumtree. I know what you must be thinking…Gumtree is DODGEY. Call it a moment of error and desperation. We considered ourselves lucky to have stumbled on a place still available in December.

The pictures seemed amazing…a 12 sleeper, pool, Jacuzzi and only R1000 a night – R2000 for the weekend. I know…it seems too good to be true but like I said we were desperate and at that point excited at the possibility of actually finding a place on such short notice.





Like all procedures…we liaised with the holiday home owner and we advised to act quickly as there were others interested. We jumped at the opportunity to secure the booking and asked for bank details to pay the 50% (R1000) deposit. This process is all pretty standard, you make a payment to secure a booking – it all looks very legit, he even gives you confirmation of payment and a booking reference.

The first red flag came up for me when he specified that an Absa payment had to be done – BF asked me to do the payment since he isn’t with Absa. I have never heard of Absa CashSend, I voiced my concern yet ignored the little voice tell me otherwise and did the payment.

Now for those of you who do not know…Absa CashSend is a “convenient” way to send money to someone without them having an account or bank card with Absa. You provide them with a pin number which gets sms’ed to their mobile number and they can withdraw the money at any ATM. Does anyone see the RED FLAG YET?????!!!!!!!

Still quite chuffed with ourselves, we ask a couple of mates if they wanna join us on another time, advised them to act quickly and let us know so that we could make another booking. That’s when a friend informed me that it’s a SCAM. Believe me when that happens you feel the world being tugged out from underneath you. It is sickening to think that this guy(s) just sits at home on the couch conning people out of their hard earned cash!!!!

I rush to the bank to check whether by any chance the money is still in my account – SURPRISE…it’s gone. So I spend half my working day at the Police station and Absa laying a fraud case. Absa informs me that this holiday home syndicate has been operating since last year. That a guy actually waits at the ATM to withdraw your money.

Believe me, I am well aware that I will not get my money (R1000) back and that I’m probably just adding to the police’s paper work but if there is any way that this loser gets caught I want to be part of bringing the low-life down.

So beware, they don’t call the end of the year silly season for nothing…it could happen to you.

Watch this space

Many times in life, people ask the question why you? Too often this happens in interviews. If I could, the answer would be ‘why not?’ Ok so I would never do that because I think it’s a little checky but you can be guaranteed that I will be thinking it.

Life sure has thrown me a couple of curve balls…Here are a few obstacles I have had to overcome in the last 10 months:
* Doing my BTech has taught me to sacrifice and preserve in ways that I have not known to be possible.
* My father passing away suddenly…and learning to cope with it without resorting to drastic coping mechanisms,
* Experiencing unexpected love, the lover’s quarrels and compromise that goes along with it.
* Giving up smoking…hopefully third time lucky.
* Learning to lose weight and not doing it by smoking.
* Work stresses and career reassessments.
* Finding the balance between love, friendship, family, work, studies and life on life’s terms.

What makes me unique is who I am and the warped way I see the world. I’m ambitious, stubborn, beautiful, intelligent and an extremely determined woman. I have no doubt that I can survive, overcome and exceed expectations set by myself and others on this journey called life...Watch this space!

Beach essentials

The sun is shining…the weather is sweet! Here are my must-have/remember items to soak up the sun…
1. Sun block…being burnt to a crisp or looking like a ripe tomato is never sexy.
2. Beach towel and a good pair of sunnies…no one likes to share either of these on a hot summer’s day.
3. Protect your pout with lip balm…a cold sore pout lip is something out of a scary movie.
4. A good read…if you not a book enthusiast bring one anyway. Giving the stare down on a good-looking bloke can be a little scary and can avoid the stalker accusations.
5. So we all tried drastically dieting before the heat waves arrived, so if you are not 100% bikini ready, please do not try and fit into last season’s swimsuit. No one wants to see you overflow you swimming costume – buy one that flatters your new found-fuller figure.
6. Do something new like learn to surf, paraglide or just take the opportunity to explore.
7. Now some of the ladies may live by the motto: "suffer for beauty" by cramming in their feet into killer heels. What results are Nik Nax toes…and if this happens at least have the courtesy to have a great pedicure.
8. For goodness sake…the beach is a place to kick back and relax…leave the makeup for a couple of hours and let your skin breathe. There is nothing worse than seeing some chic’s face melt in the sun.
9. Ladies be kind to each other…we have enough criticism about our shape and weight from men.
10. Don’t be afraid to overindulge…buy that summer dress, adorable sandal, beach bag, have one too many sundowners, surround yourself with good conversation, love unconditionally and laugh boldly …because you only live once.

Picture courtesty of Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/findthemagic/3937513842/

My favourite Cat in the Hat book...

If you haven't read Dr. Seuss, you have missed on one of the most brilliant childhood fictitious experiences. "The cat in the hat" does make a mess of things and creates utter chaos which is refreshing in comparison with other books which reflect how perfect life should be.

I liked the characters in this book, especially the talking fish. The children should never have let anyone or anything in their house while their mom is gone. Nevertheless the book is fun to read along to the rhyming words and is a fun way to learn. The great thing about the Dr. Seuss books is that you can read it over and over again and it will still be fun.

What do you wish you were better at saying no to?

I must admit that I hardly ever find saying no is a problem, except when it’s a delicious dessert screaming to be eaten *guilty face*.

I am fairly expressive and verbal about what I like and what I do not like. However, there are the odd occasions that I find myself persuaded into doing something…it happens so fast and I find my mouth saying yes when all of my body says no.

Thank being said, I think that I enjoy the chaos of life and having so many deadlines that I want to pull out my hair. I love the fast-paced adrenalin of knowing that I have a million things to get through on my ‘To Do List’. It’s moments like these that I really push the boundaries to go above and beyond of what I thought my capabilities are.

The human body, mind and spirit is an amazing thing, just when you think you can not possible endure anymore, you find the strength (by the Grace of God) to carry on. My mom said something very profound to me when I was faced with one of the most scary and overwhelming challenges in my life: ’when I feel like I’m at the end of my rope…swing’. And that saying is exactly how I have chosen to live my life…

Why I have conversations

Because not even I can stand the constant chatter of my own voice. How dull would the world be if no one listened? People would talk to each other as opposed to talking with each other. It might be important when meeting someone to show interest by having them speak about themselves but it’s a tad annoying to hear someone ramble on whole night. Besides, that’s not going to win you any brownie points with the poor chap who has to endure the pain. CAN SOMEONE PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON PLEASE?! He’s going to take the first opportunity he gets to bolt for the bathroom and never come back.

I went on an open dialogue course recently and was surprised to discover that I do not listen as much I thought I did. It was a major shocker to me. Although in denial, this was apparent especially when I am debating an issue. I rush to express my point and do not hesitate to ignore the person that’s talking so that I may start formulating what my next response is going to be. Needless to say, this profound discovering brought about change.

In public relations, the two most solid concepts which stuck with me are that two-way communication is fundamental and secondly, a win-win situation is beneficial for both parties. Since attending that workshop I now have conversations to be enlightened about life…to show interest in others and hope that they do the same for me. If I never asked questions and engage in conversations, I would never grow in mind or in character.

What activity would you like a lesson from an expert?

This is easy enough – if you’ve ever seen me in a kitchen (or never seen me in a kitchen)…you would know what I would want – cooking lessons from an expert to ensure I don’t poison the poor fellow in the receiving end.

I am the type of person who burns boiling water - utterly hopeless. The thought of cooking makes my palms sweaty and my heart race. I find it such a mundane task that society dictates as the job of the women. Well, if you know me, I’m never in the kitchen and I’m as maternal as a doorknob.

However, that being said – I would like to know how to cook without going into a complete panic. I’d like to do all the fancy dishes shown on the cooking channel – and do it with the easy that those chiefs do it. And the saying, “the way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach” doesn’t help!

I have been terrorized by my grand mother to be more feminine and submissive. Not to mention with the task to be the home starter when in actual fact Gran – all I need to do is find a man who likes to cook…

Bucket list: 100 things to do before I die

1. Paraglide along the west coast
2. Track mountain gorillas in Uganda
3. Sky dive - tandem of course
4. Go shark caging diving
5. Go river rafting
6. Get married - and have the big white wedding
7. Have a family
8. Grow in faith – and be a good Christian
9. Hot air balloon over the Maasai Mara in Kenya
10. Pony trekking in Lesotho
11. Go back to Mozambique for a holiday
12. Microlight over Victoria Falls
13. Soak in the Wikki Warm Springs – Nigeria
14. Travel back to Venice: take a Gondola ride and buy a glass ring – the one I bought fell and broke :-(
15. Stroll through the Roman ruins of Leptis Magna – 130 km east of Tripoli
16. Visit the Kruger National Park
17. Bungy jump again but this time actually jump off as opposed to someone pushing me
18. Learn to surf, more importantly to be able to stand up on the board
19. Learn sign language
20. Learn photography
21. Work one summer at a soup kitchen for the homeless
22. Learn to be more patient
23. Take a road trip and not know the destination
24. Go on holiday and not over pack as I always do
25. Be debt free – not that I have debt now
26. Donate blood on regular moment
27. Take a cruise holiday – destination does not really matter
28. Go to the Maldives and stay in a water villa (house built on stilts in the lagoon).
29. Go to Egypt and explore the pyramids
30. Be able to drive and not get road rage at the stupid people on the roads
31. Be able to stand in front of a crowd and Karaoke like no ones listening
32. Learn to ice skate
33. Be able to go to my dad’s grave and not be sad but rather at peace
34. Learn a new language
35. Blow a month’s salary on shoes/clothes and items for the house
36. Visit the churches of Lalibela – Ethiopia
37. Learn to be quiet and meditate
38. Realise that there is no such thing as PMS and that its just my personality
39. Swim with a dolphin
40. Have an invisible friend
41. Go watch a ballet or opera show at a theatre
42. Make a snow angel in real thick snow
43. Go to India and ride an elephant
44. Visit Greece
45. Write my will
46. Go to Thailand
47. Shop in Bangkok
48. Tell my loved ones that I love them – while I still can
49. Spend the night talking with my husband and watch the sun rise
50. Go to Zanzibar
51. Build a tree house – its for the kids of course
52. Flash an officer of the Law
53. Win the lotto and tell my boss to take a hike – must be dramatic and creative resignation (like in the movies)
54. Learn to cook
55. Go on an African safari
56. Walk the great wall of China
57. Learn to master the art of eating with chop sticks
58. Be a great mom (if I ever do embark on that journey)
59. Learn to make sushi
60. Save enough to make provision for the loved ones I leave behind
61. Learn to play a musical instrument - maybe the harp
62. Touch a snake or let one hang over my shoulders
63. Give to various charities
64. Not care about my weight or the occasional muffin top
65. Have a professional photo shoot done
66. Shop antiques and tasseled fezzes in Fes
67. Learn to drive a motor bike
68. Go to Jamaica – perhaps even retire there!
69. Learn to garden
70. Set off a fire alarm at work and hope that someone doesn't catch me
71. Attend an Oprah show – the Christmas Show!!!
72. Stay out all night dancing and go straight to work the following day
73. Cut my hair into an outrageous hairstyle
74. Purchase my first pair of Manolo Blahnik or Jimmy Choo shoes – break the bank.
75. Go to a wedding and wrestle to catch the bride's bouquets
76. Make my first million
77. Have a happy fulfilling marriage – more importantly, just have ONE marriage and not succumb to the divorce rate
78. Do a job that I love and am passionate about
79. Learn to take a compliment
80. Learn to take criticism
81. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally
82. Ask for a raise
83. Shower under a waterfall
84. Experience a white Christmas
85. Look at my family from a distance and realise what a great job I have done
86. Make my own wine – stomping it and "the whole 9 yards"
87. Buy a house and make it a home
88. Overcome a fear
89. Learn to keep in touch with friends and family
90. Become a Sunday school teacher
91. Pitch a tent in my backyard and camp the night under the stars with my kids
92. Send my mom red roses on her birthday and Valentines Day to let her know how much she is loved
93. Stick to my New Year’s resolutions
94. Give ten percent of my income to the church
95. Go to a place where nobody knows me and pretend to be a completely different person – like a millionaire or a doctor
96. Learn to DJ
97. Be a non-smoker
98. Crash a high school party in my 50s
99. Be active and in good health
100. Be an organ donor - to help someone else

Bonus...

101. Be happy and content that I lived a fulfilling life with no regrets

What would the world be like if Santa Claus actually existed?

So what would life be like if the mystical Santa Claus did exist? I think that perhaps the world would be a better place; more people would behave themselves – hoping that their name would be on Santa’s list for a gift. We all know that if you were naughty, Santa wouldn’t bring you a gift.

On the other hand, perhaps it would be a bad thing…people would idealise Santa into a God-like figure and perhaps people would become more materialistic – instead of focusing on the smaller things that brings one joy. I always thought that people appreciate more if they achieved something through hard work. So how many people would people be ungrateful for the gift they have received? Would Santa become a target, would thugs try and rob him? Perhaps Santa would become victim to the sins of the world – sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll and not forgetting corruption.

I don’t know which of the above would be true but I do know that the thought of Santa Claus does bring a smile to my face…of younger, more innocent times. Times of excitement and minimal sleep just incase I missed Santa coming down the chimney. It was a vital part of childhood which I wouldn’t have traded for the world.

GLOOMY THOUGHT: I remember the moment I found out that Santa didn’t exist – how I had been living a lie. Dramatic – I know, but why would our parents give us such an amazing character just so that the dream can be pulled out from underneath us???

My big fat BIG dream

For some this may be an easy question, they may have their life mapped out. I find that my big fat dream changes all the time to what I need at that moment in my life.

When I was younger, all I dreamt about was being skinny, having straight hair instead of curly and being in with the “in-crowd”. Lol…yes my dreams have changed since then…my big dream now is to complete my BTech and gain experience. I dream of travelling to exotic places all around the world. I dream of having a house that is a home or maybe even drive a fancy car.

Then there are times that my big fat dream is to have a big white wedding. Although it is not a priority now, perhaps in the distant future I may wish to have a family. When I am a mother I may find financial security for my loved ones a priority. When I am 80 years, wrinkled and matured like a good wine…I may consider my health most important.

At various times in my life, my dream is to be closer to God. I dream of more profound things than my life – Martin Luther King’s words come to mind, to make this world a better place and to help those less fortunate. Most importantly, despite my age, where I am in life and what my dreams are – above all I would like to be happy and surround myself with loved ones.

So no, I would like to think that there is one big dream that I have, but I don’t – I have many all equal in priority…cause who said I can only have one big fat BIG dream.

When does a house become a home?

As more and more of my friends leave the "nest" and move in to their own place, it got me thinking how important a home is. It is a safe place to retreat back to after a long day, a place that you can wear what you want and truly let your hair down. It is a place of comfort and a reflection of who you are.

So when does a house become a home? I think when you deciding what couch you like and what vases compliment the curtains…your house is still a house. Whether you have the latest designs or appliances…this still does not make it a home.

I think a house becomes a home when you experience great joys – and sorrows, when you experience unforgettable memories and the walls speak of great times, when you see photographs of loved ones displayed all around, when you hear laughter and the occasional angry scream in the passage. You experience life with all the ups and downs in those four walls…when your house is filled with all of this and the people you love…this makes it a home.

Home is where the heart is...

Conventional is a good fallback position, isn’t it?

You kidding right? If I thought that conventional was the next best thing since sliced bread…I would be a square, office cardboard cut-out, a conformist, predictable and conservative. All of which I am definitely not. While there are often times when we are faced with the situation where we feel as though we are at a rock and a hard place. Conventional should never be considered as the fallback option.

When one agrees mentally to just do the bare minimum or not think outside the box, you may achieve your goal but would you exceed their/your expectations. Conventional is safe approach to life; however you cannot gain great things if you do not risk great loss. Change can be a scary thing when embarking on it, but the rewards can be well worth it. So swim against the stream or rattle the cage every now and again…be extraordinary, I mean where’s the fun in being “Normal” anyway?!?!

What makes me smile instantly?

* Finding the last pair of to-die-for shoes and it’s my size.
* Boyfriend surprising me with flowers and No, he didn’t do anything wrong.
* My boss telling me that I can have the day off for no particular reason.
* Results paying off for something I work really hard at.
* Getting a phone call from a friend I haven’t spoken to in ages.
* Dogs…dogs and more dogs.
* The little chocolates on the cushions in hotel rooms.
* My friends and family succeeding or achieving something.
* Full body massage.
* A marshmallow in my cup of coffee.
* Weddings
* Being surrounded by nature.
* Feeling the sun on my skin.
* Those cute emails about animals doing silly things.
* When my money appears in my account at the end of the month - NB.
* Memories of my late father.
* Painting my nails and not smudging it once…I feel great accomplishment when this happens.
* Bf washing up when my nails are painted – he’s the bestest!
* Looking at old photographs and reminiscing about the great memories.
* Learning something new and having it become a skill.
* When my bf does something considerate/thoughtful when I least expect it.
* When I am able to post my blog with NO hassles.
* Driving somewhere and all the robots are green.
* The minds of little people (children).
* Public holidays.
* Festive times in the year, like Easter and Christmas.
* A weekend getaway with friends/family.
* Feeling secure in my relationship.
* My mom surprising me by packing lunch.

* My amazing boyfriend!
* Being surrounded by friends and family.

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time

Confucius once said, "He who chases two rabbits catches neither." Another saying just like it is, “You can’t have your cake and eat it?” My immediate reaction is that this is great advice to live by, for example, your boyfriend wanting to court two ladies at the same time.

However, it dawned on that with certain things I would actually like to chase more than one rabbit. And it IS possible to do if both rabbits are running in the same direction. An example of chasing two rabbits is having the opportunity to work and be a mom, to have money and happiness, to work and study part time or to attend an event but be able to network and promote yourself. I think whether its cake or a rabbit, who says you can’t have something that helps you fulfill the goals and dreams and help you become the person you are destined to be.

Which super power would you chose: flying or invisibility?

This one is easy…flying of course. I would take pleasure in the thought that I’m not bound to this earth. That my mind and capabilities have no boundaries, that I could go anywhere I wanted to and didn't need to book with an airline or the sit through the dreaded routine of checking in and having to watch the extremely dull safety video.

I would travel the world, meet new people and experience new and diverse things. I would get to live in all the beautiful places that I have seen but never been to. Most importantly, I have the opportunity to learn new things as I experience new surroundings, cultures and their social and economic circumstances. And when I learn…I grow in mind, spirit and character – invisible is the last thing I want to be!

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when you only have one

I have learnt some valuable lessons, one of the most important being to have a plan AND to have a plan B. Planning the surprise party for my brother this weekend past was challenging yet I wouldn’t trade the adrenaline pumping chaos for anything else. Everything was set…venue, the catering, custom-made classic car cake, balloons, banner, champagne, speech, guests and DJ.

Now just as I am about to start getting excited and celebrating the success of the night to come, the manager of the venue explains that the entire block has been without power since 10am this morning. He assures me that an electrician has been working on it whole day but he cannot guarantee that the electricity will be up and running by the time that the guests arrive. My stress levels spike as I have a mini heart attack. This guy however, does something quite remarkable…he tells me how the plan is going to shit but offers me a life line – he arranges with a restaurant down the road to host the party if the power does not come on in time.

So now I am experiencing life on life’s terms but not completely throwing in the towel and calling it quits just yet. I enjoy surrounding myself with people who devise a plan B or look for solutions instead of harping on how unfair life is for putting an obstacle in their way. What it means is that life will hand me some sour lemons from time to time I am smart enough to think of plan B and make lemonade when it does.

Do you think that crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Listening to my favourite radio station, they hosted a very interesting topic on men crying and whether it is seen as a strength or weakness. Men are taught to be tough and give off the perception that they have it all together. Women on the other hand show more emotions, sometimes often erratic.

So how do I feel about crying, personally…I am quite a hard person but do have sudden bursts of tearfulness. This can happen while watching a moving movie, when frustrated and I cannot bash the person next to me, when sad or just when ever the next mood swing is due to happen.

I often feel as I have been hit by a bus after a good cry and I don’t look particularly sexy afterwards but I do sleep like a baby. I feel emotional release, sometimes we get so caught up in the pretence to the world showing them that I have it all together – that I’m the perfect child/ sister/ aunt/ cousin/ girlfriend/ friend/ student/ employee/ Christian. It can be quite daunting that when one of the balls drops from the air, I can’t help but belt out a tear.

So do I feel the same compassion for a man that cries? I can respect a man who cries over a loss of a loved one or tears of joy when their child is born. I can respect it when he sheds a tear with me when I am hurt or sad.

A man that can cry definitely is a sign of strength, it shows that he cares and that for me is the most important thing. That being said, if he cried every two seconds because something was sooooo emotional that he just had to burst into tears – I would definitely tell him to man up or get out.

Have you figured out the second head fake?

Did you figure out the head fake? It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you - http://www.quotesstar.com/

I think that I live my life doing unto and treating others as I would like done unto me. I happen to think that I live my life according to God’s will and society’s rules. I understand what it is to have morals and integrity - and to live by them.

I fully understand that life can be cruel and unfair and when you least need it to be. That if I want something that I need to work hard to get – that there are no hand-outs in life. However, just because I worked hard does not mean I will get what I want. God has a greater plan for me. Sometimes, He closes doors to open a window to an even better opportunity.

I live my life in the present moment but also planning that God will grace me with a future, therefore, I plan my life accordingly. I have learnt to make mistakes, learn from them, pick myself up, to make amends where necessary and do things differently. I have learnt to be the kind of person I can respect.

Have I mastered the art of the second head fake? Not by a long shot, but the beauty of life is that there is no final destination, rather the constant opportunity to improve on myself to be the kind of person I want to be.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I feel that I have been moulded by society to be a corporate junkie, acting all professional and responsible every moment of the day – even when I leave the office. When in actual fact, I would like to be a kid again and be carefree.

I wouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills, check when my car needs to be serviced, ensuring I have medical aid, take out funeral policies, life policies, car insurance, saving for a rainy day and I wouldn’t need to feel guilty about procrastinating doing something important.

I would like to be 4 years old again, where the foolish things I do or say are seen as amusing rather than stupid and life was one big adventure. Where it’s not expected from me to map out my whole future in a five year plan and know where it was that I’m heading in life. Where I can wash the stink of adulthood responsibilities off and rather play with tea sets, in the park or with my Barbie dolls. Where no one asks you for your highest qualification, your strengths and weaknesses but is impressed that you can count to ten and you know your ABC.

Life would consist of playing in the sand and having the small pleasures in life, like blowing bubbles, be the best thing since sliced bread. To go back to a time where it was ok to have grass stains on the knees of my pants. Where you are able to go anywhere and do anything and the only thing you had to do was have an imagination. Not forgetting, the magical experience of holidays such as Easter and Christmas time.

At 4 you live in the disillusion that your dad is the only man you need in life, that he will never disappoint you and that he will live forever. You are sheltered from the violence, crime, poverty, hurt and pain of the world. You live in a fairy tale that your happy little family is going to live happily ever after.

I would love to go back to a time where I could eat cookies and cream or cupcakes without counting the calories. Without me obsessing the I need to lose weight…be thinner…taller…prettier…smarter…dress fashionable/ sexy/ corporate/ casual/ Christian-like – all because society expects it from me.

All that would be required from me is to play, be merry and explore my surroundings. To be young again…would be a blessing…to live in a bubble protected from life as we know it.