You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time

Confucius once said, "He who chases two rabbits catches neither." Another saying just like it is, “You can’t have your cake and eat it?” My immediate reaction is that this is great advice to live by, for example, your boyfriend wanting to court two ladies at the same time.

However, it dawned on that with certain things I would actually like to chase more than one rabbit. And it IS possible to do if both rabbits are running in the same direction. An example of chasing two rabbits is having the opportunity to work and be a mom, to have money and happiness, to work and study part time or to attend an event but be able to network and promote yourself. I think whether its cake or a rabbit, who says you can’t have something that helps you fulfill the goals and dreams and help you become the person you are destined to be.

Which super power would you chose: flying or invisibility?

This one is easy…flying of course. I would take pleasure in the thought that I’m not bound to this earth. That my mind and capabilities have no boundaries, that I could go anywhere I wanted to and didn't need to book with an airline or the sit through the dreaded routine of checking in and having to watch the extremely dull safety video.

I would travel the world, meet new people and experience new and diverse things. I would get to live in all the beautiful places that I have seen but never been to. Most importantly, I have the opportunity to learn new things as I experience new surroundings, cultures and their social and economic circumstances. And when I learn…I grow in mind, spirit and character – invisible is the last thing I want to be!

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when you only have one

I have learnt some valuable lessons, one of the most important being to have a plan AND to have a plan B. Planning the surprise party for my brother this weekend past was challenging yet I wouldn’t trade the adrenaline pumping chaos for anything else. Everything was set…venue, the catering, custom-made classic car cake, balloons, banner, champagne, speech, guests and DJ.

Now just as I am about to start getting excited and celebrating the success of the night to come, the manager of the venue explains that the entire block has been without power since 10am this morning. He assures me that an electrician has been working on it whole day but he cannot guarantee that the electricity will be up and running by the time that the guests arrive. My stress levels spike as I have a mini heart attack. This guy however, does something quite remarkable…he tells me how the plan is going to shit but offers me a life line – he arranges with a restaurant down the road to host the party if the power does not come on in time.

So now I am experiencing life on life’s terms but not completely throwing in the towel and calling it quits just yet. I enjoy surrounding myself with people who devise a plan B or look for solutions instead of harping on how unfair life is for putting an obstacle in their way. What it means is that life will hand me some sour lemons from time to time I am smart enough to think of plan B and make lemonade when it does.

Do you think that crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Listening to my favourite radio station, they hosted a very interesting topic on men crying and whether it is seen as a strength or weakness. Men are taught to be tough and give off the perception that they have it all together. Women on the other hand show more emotions, sometimes often erratic.

So how do I feel about crying, personally…I am quite a hard person but do have sudden bursts of tearfulness. This can happen while watching a moving movie, when frustrated and I cannot bash the person next to me, when sad or just when ever the next mood swing is due to happen.

I often feel as I have been hit by a bus after a good cry and I don’t look particularly sexy afterwards but I do sleep like a baby. I feel emotional release, sometimes we get so caught up in the pretence to the world showing them that I have it all together – that I’m the perfect child/ sister/ aunt/ cousin/ girlfriend/ friend/ student/ employee/ Christian. It can be quite daunting that when one of the balls drops from the air, I can’t help but belt out a tear.

So do I feel the same compassion for a man that cries? I can respect a man who cries over a loss of a loved one or tears of joy when their child is born. I can respect it when he sheds a tear with me when I am hurt or sad.

A man that can cry definitely is a sign of strength, it shows that he cares and that for me is the most important thing. That being said, if he cried every two seconds because something was sooooo emotional that he just had to burst into tears – I would definitely tell him to man up or get out.

Have you figured out the second head fake?

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I think that I live my life doing unto and treating others as I would like done unto me. I happen to think that I live my life according to God’s will and society’s rules. I understand what it is to have morals and integrity - and to live by them.

I fully understand that life can be cruel and unfair and when you least need it to be. That if I want something that I need to work hard to get – that there are no hand-outs in life. However, just because I worked hard does not mean I will get what I want. God has a greater plan for me. Sometimes, He closes doors to open a window to an even better opportunity.

I live my life in the present moment but also planning that God will grace me with a future, therefore, I plan my life accordingly. I have learnt to make mistakes, learn from them, pick myself up, to make amends where necessary and do things differently. I have learnt to be the kind of person I can respect.

Have I mastered the art of the second head fake? Not by a long shot, but the beauty of life is that there is no final destination, rather the constant opportunity to improve on myself to be the kind of person I want to be.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I feel that I have been moulded by society to be a corporate junkie, acting all professional and responsible every moment of the day – even when I leave the office. When in actual fact, I would like to be a kid again and be carefree.

I wouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills, check when my car needs to be serviced, ensuring I have medical aid, take out funeral policies, life policies, car insurance, saving for a rainy day and I wouldn’t need to feel guilty about procrastinating doing something important.

I would like to be 4 years old again, where the foolish things I do or say are seen as amusing rather than stupid and life was one big adventure. Where it’s not expected from me to map out my whole future in a five year plan and know where it was that I’m heading in life. Where I can wash the stink of adulthood responsibilities off and rather play with tea sets, in the park or with my Barbie dolls. Where no one asks you for your highest qualification, your strengths and weaknesses but is impressed that you can count to ten and you know your ABC.

Life would consist of playing in the sand and having the small pleasures in life, like blowing bubbles, be the best thing since sliced bread. To go back to a time where it was ok to have grass stains on the knees of my pants. Where you are able to go anywhere and do anything and the only thing you had to do was have an imagination. Not forgetting, the magical experience of holidays such as Easter and Christmas time.

At 4 you live in the disillusion that your dad is the only man you need in life, that he will never disappoint you and that he will live forever. You are sheltered from the violence, crime, poverty, hurt and pain of the world. You live in a fairy tale that your happy little family is going to live happily ever after.

I would love to go back to a time where I could eat cookies and cream or cupcakes without counting the calories. Without me obsessing the I need to lose weight…be thinner…taller…prettier…smarter…dress fashionable/ sexy/ corporate/ casual/ Christian-like – all because society expects it from me.

All that would be required from me is to play, be merry and explore my surroundings. To be young again…would be a blessing…to live in a bubble protected from life as we know it.

How hard is it to follow instructions?

How hard it is would be dependent on how badly the person wants what you have or what you are offering. Growing up, I must admit, I was super rebellious…the more I showed I didn’t need you the better I thought I was off. You told me one thing and I did the complete opposite. I grew up (it was inevitable) and I learnt that rules aren’t there to be broken and they can be pretty useful.

I happen to think that I follow instructions quite well: I read it carefully, make sure I understand what is required of me, ask for clarification (if needed) and get down to business.

Now even though the instructions state various things, here are some reasons why it may be hard to follow them:
* How clear are the instructions?
* Life does not care about instructions. If my computer crashes it does not consider my stress levels as to when my assignment deadline is approaching.
* Sometimes technology fails us…internet doesn’t work, pc freezes, printer runs out of ink, websites bomb out etc.
* We phone to clarify the specifications, not because we don’t understand but rather because we think ‘how are we going to juggle this with everything else already on our plate’ and we are silently trying to let you know this.
* Could it be that the instructions are ambiguous?
* Often when we tackle instructions we are at our most vulnerable…hungry, tired, overworked and underpaid.
* Then there is the major question: are all of these instructions really necessary? I know a few Com Science students who may beg to differ.
* Are the instructions longer than 2 pages because it is hard to find the time to do what is required and read a manuscript of what is required to be done?
* Last but not least…life as a zombie is not ayoba…there’s not enough time in the day to work, study, eat, sleep and have some form of a social/family life.